It Depends On You

Good morning and welcome to Our Daily Walk.

Audio version at http://tinyurl.com/3cnblx

“Well, what do you want to do?” the question was asked to the young wife. “Do you want to make this marriage work or do you want to continue in the other direction and call it quits?” The husband looked on patiently waiting for an answer. His devotion to the marriage was quite evident. Forgiveness was available. Reconciliation was within reach. “It depends on you,” the counselor said.

The above exchange is fiction, yet it is played out over and over before counselors and ministers. A relationship is in trouble. Communication has deteriorated. Repairs are available, but both parties will have to agree if the healing and reconciliation are to take place.

Paul writes concerning personal relationship in Romans 12:18 when he says, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” This entire chapter in Romans is full of tremendous advice concerning the Christian life. Our lives are to be presented as living sacrifices and we are to be transformed into what God desires rather than to be conformed to the world. Our attitudes toward others should be full of love, respect, affection. Our response to those who persecute us should be blessing instead of cursing. This is one chapter that all Christians should read frequently.

Although most Christians would desire to be faithful to all of these instructions, many will find themselves falling short in their attitudes and actions concerning personal relationships. It isn’t easy to be patient while being wronged. 1 Peter 4:12-19 gives us a glimpse into the inevitability of persecution and the fact that we should not be ashamed, but rather glorify God through our sufferings.

One Christian is wronged by another. A choice is to be made. Should he confront the brother one on one as Matthew 18:15 says and seek a quick resolution, or should he instead tell his friends about the offense and build a sympathetic following? Will he choose to be forgiving if the offending brother seeks reconciliation as Luke 17:3-4 commands? Or will he choose to withhold forgiveness and hold the offense against his brother in perpetuity? Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15 that our forgiveness from God is linked with our willingness to extend forgiveness to others.

The Bible is quite clear on how personal conflicts should be resolved. If you read Matthew 18:15-17 and Matthew 5:22-26 you will see that both the offended and the offender have responsibilities. The offended has an obligation to seek out the offender and attempt to bring about a resolution. Likewise, the one who has offended others is called upon to seek reconciliation with his offended brother before he offers his worship to God. Although these actions are difficult they are still within our power of choice. Remember, as much as it depends on you, live in peace.

Failure to resolve these conflicts can lead to other sins and problems in life. When reconciliation is not desired, relationships will die, factions will arise, and unity will be abandoned.

Reconciliation without forgiveness is impossible. And withholding forgiveness when an offender repents and requests forgiveness endangers the eternal destiny of the offended. The wise path to choose is the one that allows you to settle issues as they happen and to remember them no longer.

As Paul mentioned, we are to seek to live in peace with others “as much as it depends on you.” Dear friend, in many cases you hold the key to reconciliation. Use it frequently. Forgive, restore, reunite, repair, encourage. Seek peace and treasure it when you find it. A better world awaits and it just may depend on you!

On Our Daily Walk today, may we make a list of people who have angered, offended and hurt us. May we also make a list of people who are angry with us. Then with prayer, humility and determination, let us approach these others with the goal of reconciliation, healing and forgiveness.

Our thought for the day: “Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the high cost of hatred, and the waste of energy.”

May God bless you on your daily walk.

© Our Daily Walk, Mike Baker, 2007. Permission is granted to copy these articles provided they are not sold and the author's name and copyright are included.