Forgive, Forgive, Forgive

Good morning and welcome to Our Daily Walk.

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“I’ll never forgive that person as long as I live.” Those words still are fresh in my memory after many years. The person who said them was otherwise a good Christian woman, and the offense that she was unwilling to forgive wasn’t even something done to her. It was done to a friend of hers.

It is not within the Christian character to have a spirit of refusing to offer forgiveness. In fact, Jesus spoke directly to this issue in Matthew 6:14-15, when He said, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Our forgiveness from God is tied to our ability and willingness to forgive others. That should be a very sobering thought to all of us.

Naturally, it is very difficult to offer forgiveness to those who hurt us. Even when they say they are sorry, it still remains a difficult task.

Peter asked Jesus once about how often he should forgive someone that sinned against him. In the Old Testament days, to forgive someone up to three times for the same offense was considered to be enough. After that you could hold it against them.

But Peter offered twice that amount and one more for good measure. He offered to forgive up to seven times.

The reply Jesus gave wasn’t intended to be literally interpreted, but the message should be very clear. He said, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:22.

Now that doesn’t mean that we are supposed to carry a notebook around with us and put a tally mark down each time we forgive someone. Jesus is merely saying that there should be no limits to the amount of forgiveness that we extend to others.

Unfortunately some people have difficulty in doing what is right. Bad habits are hard to overcome and positive reinforcements are much needed.

Take for example a new employee who is having difficulty mastering the use of a new machine. In each attempt to work the machine he makes a mistake and ruins a product that he is working on. He sees his mistake and is sorry for having made it. He promises to do better the next time, but again he falls into a bad habit and ruins another piece a few minutes later.

A good supervisor will help evaluate the situation, give correction for what is being done wrong and then will encourage the employee to do better. Having a desire to succeed, the employee will then be able to focus on mastering his new job without the fear of his past mistakes haunting him.

Jesus illustrates this interaction in Luke 17:3-4 when He says, “Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, 'I repent,' you shall forgive him.”

Notice that this process not only entails forgiveness, but also a rebuke or correction. So many times the person being held “guilty” for something may have no idea that he has ever done anything wrong. But when confronted with information that they have offended or hurt someone, most people will immediately seek to make a correction and ask for forgiveness.

It is really a simple process. When someone offends or harms you, let them know what they have done. Correct them. And when they say they are sorry, or in other words, repent, then forgive them.

Someone said, “Forgiveness has been called the virtue we profess to believe, fail to practice, and neglect to preach.” I hope that is not the case with us today.

The next time you are tempted to hold a grudge or refuse to forgive someone, please remember that without forgiving others, God will not forgive you.

On Our Daily Walk today, may we always be ready and willing to forgive anyone for anything that they have done. May the reminder of God’s mercy of us be fresh on our minds as we extend our forgiveness to others.

Our thought for the day: “It is far better to forgive and forget than to resent and remember.”

May God bless you on your daily walk.

© Our Daily Walk, Mike Baker, 2007. Permission is granted to copy these articles provided they are not sold and the author's name and copyright are included.

Conflict Resolution - He Had It Coming

Good morning and welcome to Our Daily Walk.

Audio version at http://tinyurl.com/2hd7op

Bob was typical of your every day, average, middle class family man. He worked hard, provided for his family, taught his kids how to camp and play ball. He was a good man. But Bob had some hidden faults as well.

A few months back Bob did something out of character. He took revenge on someone. His feelings had been hurt when a long time friend decided to do business with someone else instead of him. Bob felt betrayed and felt that he should have had all of his friend’s business, and so he set about to get even with his friend.

The more he thought about the event, the angrier he became. “If that’s the way my ‘friend’ treats me, then I’ll show him a thing or two,” Bob said. And so he did. Bob decided that the best thing he could do to his one time friend was to spread a rumor or two about his business. Eventually those rumors took hold in the community and Bob’s friend suffered some losses in his business.

As much as Bob rationalized in his mind that his friend had it coming to him, he still couldn’t quite cope with the guilt of it all. Looking back, Bob had not even spoken with his friend after all this occurred and an uneasy feeling fell over him. “Could it be that I was mistaken in some way about this all?”

But the part that really brought the guilt home was during worship service one morning. As Bob stood to lead the congregation in prayer he looked out and saw his friend sitting there with his wife and children. As Bob bowed his head and began to speak the prayer he realized that the words were not coming to him as they should. His concentration on leading the prayer was being disrupted by the sight of this man that he had harmed.

And then there was the sermon. The preacher began his sermon with a passage from Matthew 5:23-26, part of the Sermon on the Mount.

“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are still on your way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer and you be thrown into prison. Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there until you have paid the last penny.”

Bob didn’t hear much else after that. He just stared at that passage in his own Bible. The preacher had no idea what had been going on, but he spoke directly to Bob’s situation.

When the sermon was finished and the congregation stood to sing, Bob moved to his right and came down the aisle towards the preacher. On his way, he paused by his friend and whispered something in his ear, then continued to the front.

Bob confessed, “I didn’t really realize how my actions against my friend were so dangerous to me until it began to interfere with my worship. The words of Jesus brought it all home to me and I am so sorry for what I have done. I thought that I was doing something to another person. Instead, I was really harming myself. I have almost lost a friend and nearly lost my soul.”

Friends, Bob was fortunate to feel the guilt and to experience the real interference that sin has with our relationship with God and with others. He was fortunate that his own heart was still tender and able to feel the pain that he had caused others. Finally, he was fortunate that godly sorrow caused him to right a wrong and reverse the course of a bad decision.

If we would always follow the advice in God’s book we would always find ourselves doing the right things. Jesus said that righting a wrong is more important than coming to offer worship to God. We must have a clean heart to properly worship. And how can we have a clean heart if we know that we still have sins that we need to correct? We can’t.

Paul said in Ephesians 4:25-26, “Therefore, putting away lying, and ‘Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,’ for we are members of one another.‘Be angry, and do not sin:’ do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”

On Our Daily Walk today, may we always be quick to reconcile with others and may we never pass up an opportunity to right a wrong as soon as we are made aware of it.

Our thought for the day: “An apology is a good way to have the last word.”

May God bless you on your daily walk.

© Our Daily Walk, Mike Baker, 2007. Permission is granted to copy these articles provided they are not sold and the author's name and copyright are included.

Conflict Resolution - He Hit Me First

Good morning and welcome to Our Daily Walk.

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Parents have heard just about every excuse. When breaking up a scuffle among children inevitably someone will say, “he hit me first,” or “he started it.” In the end, most parents are not so much concerned with who started it as with how it will end. Usually it means that everyone gets in trouble, regardless of who started it all.

You’d think that as we grow older we would learn to behave better, but it isn’t always the case. Hurt feelings, jealousies, spite and getting even are all just as much a part of the lives of many adults as they are with children. The plea, “but he started it” is often used to justify one’s own bad behavior toward others.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus describes some very challenging behavior that He wishes us to have. In Matthew 5:38-41, He says, “You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two.”

He goes on from there to describe how we are to love our enemies, bless those who curse us, do good for those who hate us and pray for those who are persecuting us. Clearly, Jesus is interested in us taking the high road with others, especially when we have been wronged.

So what are we to do when others may wrong us or sin against us? Are we to just sit there and continue to turn the other cheek all day long? Are we expected to be a doormat for anyone who decides to harm us?

No, that’s not the idea at all. The main idea is that above all, we should conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of our Lord. We take the high road.

Specifically, in dealing with a person who sins against us or does us harm, Jesus gives excellent direction to us in Matthew 18:15-17.

“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.' And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”

Let’s look at these three steps a little closer. First of all, Jesus says that we have an obligation to tell the person that they have done something to harm us. This is the step that most people don’t feel comfortable doing. But, chances are pretty good that either the person intended to harm us or that they had no idea what they did to us. Either way, by confronting them about it in an open and loving way, both parties will know where they stand.

If it was a misunderstanding or a mistake, this first step will help clear the problem. But if harm was intended, then the second and third steps may be necessary. In any event, we are not to be concerned with repaying evil for evil. In fact, Paul discusses this in Romans 12:17-21.

“Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord. Therefore ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Jesus doesn’t want us to suffer at the hands of others. But neither does He desire us to even the score or return evil for evil. What He wants is for us to act in a manner that will help properly communicate what is wrong and how it can be corrected. It doesn’t matter who started it. What matters is how we act in bringing it to a successful resolution.

On Our Daily Walk today, when wronged may our hearts be set on reconciliation not revenge, and may we strengthen a friendship rather than settle a score.

Our thought for the day: “The only portion of the Lord’s Prayer that has a condition attached is the one on forgiveness.”

May God bless you on your daily walk.

© Our Daily Walk, Mike Baker, 2007. Permission is granted to copy these articles provided they are not sold and the author's name and copyright are included.

Conflict Resolution - Letting It Go To God

Good morning and welcome to Our Daily Walk.

Audio version at http://tinyurl.com/25dzuk

Sue had done all that she could do but it seemed to make no difference. Several years had passed since the incident occurred. A friendship had been ruined as her best friend seduced Sue’s husband and contributed to their divorce. Her friend had never apologized for the affair. In fact, she had continued to see Sue’s husband up until after the divorce, but then she went after someone else and moved away.

Sue’s life was never the same after that. The security of a stable home, the love of a trusted spouse, the hope of a story book ending—all had escaped her.

She hadn’t seen her ex-husband in over a year. Although their relationship as husband and wife was ended, he had apologized on several occasions for his betrayal. It was difficult, but Sue had forgiven him and put that part of her life behind her.

However, Sue’s friend had never shown any sign of remorse. Each mention of the topic of forgiveness at church caused Sue to have a nagging feeling. She wanted her friend to live the right kind of life. And she wanted to forgive her. But how could she forgive her for something that she didn’t regret doing?

The burden of this unresolved situation was wearing Sue down. She had to find a resolution to this. She could not continue to carry this issue with her.

But then one day Sue was reading Luke’s account of the crucifixion of Jesus. When she came to verse 34 she saw the Lord’s answer to her situation. Jesus was dying on the cross. Yet despite the fact that these people were actively killing Him, Jesus had the following to say. “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

How could Jesus be willing to forgive people as they were actively sinning against Him? The key is that Jesus would not be present to see the day when these very people would realize what they had done. He would not be there in person when they would cry out to Peter and the others on Pentecost saying “what shall we do?” Acts 2:37

So Jesus exhibited His forgiving spirit to them in hopes of the day that they would repent and seek to be right with God. Stephen also did the same thing in Acts 7:60. Stephen, the first Christian martyr, had just preached a powerful sermon. But the people rejected his words, threw him out of the city and they were stoning him to death. Yet his last words were, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin.”

In both cases the concern was with the people eventually being forgiven even though they were actively sinning at the time. Jesus and Stephen certainly didn’t condone what was being committed, but they had done all they could. Their last thoughts were to let it go to God. The rest was between these people and their Creator.

That’s when Sue decided to lay this burden down. She prayed once more to God and this time she prayed that her former friend would one day repent of her sins and seek God’s forgiveness. She might never see her friend again, but she had found peace by knowing that she had done all she could and then had let it all go to God.

On Our Daily Walk today, may we seek to always have a spirit of forgiveness and may we live so as to never stand between another person and heaven.

Our thought for the day: “He who has mastered the grace of forgiveness is far more triumphant than he who has managed to see that no wrong to him is gone unavenged.” Lloyd D. Mattson.

May God bless you on your daily walk.

© Our Daily Walk, Mike Baker, 2007. Permission is granted to copy these articles provided they are not sold and the author's name and copyright are included.

Who Gives You The Right?

Good morning and welcome to Our Daily Walk.

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Most everyone understands authority. A teacher is paid to teach students and has the authority to set the lesson plans, give exams and grade the work being done. She had the right to check your work and make corrections as needed.

A coach on a ball team has the authority to set a practice schedule, determine which plays to be used and to evaluate the players on the team. He has the right to give instruction on what a player needs to do to improve his play.

Although we may not always like it, others often have the responsibility to critique our actions and provide us with needed feedback and correction. In most cases they exercise this right in order to make us better.

But does anyone have the right to tell us that we are wrong in something we do? Preachers are an easy target here as we often stand and teach or preach on sin. Inevitably someone in our audiences will be involved in some sort of sin discussed. When a message really hits home sometimes a remark heard is, “You really stepped on our toes today, preacher.” That phrase usually acknowledges that the topic discussed does need improvement and that the message should be helpful for improvement.

On the other hand, preachers sometimes hear the question, “Who gives you the right to tell me that I’m wrong?” In this case the same message may have been delivered, but the reaction is quite different.

Several years ago I was in a discussion with a man and woman who were living together but were not married. They had been attending worship services and were interested in becoming Christians. As the talk unfolded the details of their relationship came to the surface.

I made a note of that fact and later in the discussion the topic of repentance was presented. They seemed to understand that repentance meant leaving behind things that were unacceptable to God. But then when I mentioned that it would also mean no longer living together unless they were married, I received the, “who gives you the right,” speech.

Despite all of the verses in the Bible that specifically state that those who commit fornication and adultery are not going to heaven, this couple was indignant. They were not going to give up their relationship.

So, did anyone have the right to tell them that they were in the wrong? Jesus says, “Yes.” In Matthew 7:1-5, He clearly shows that we are to help out one another. That passage begins with, “Judge not, that you be not judged.” Most people stop there and think that Jesus was saying that no one should judge another. But read on and you will find that Jesus first wants you to be spiritually right, and then go and help your brother with his sin or problem.

Paul speaks of this as well in Galatians 6:1-2. “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Jesus fully intended that His own people would be able to detect sin in the lives of others and would be spiritually fit so as to help that person out of that sin. Jesus not only gave the right to do so, but also expects that we can be effective in saving the souls of others by correcting them in a spirit of gentleness.

One more passage on this comes from James 5:19-20. “Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.”

The school teacher and coach both judged our efforts and helped us to be better. They pointed out things that were incorrect and helped us replace them with the things that were right. We are better today because of their efforts.

On Our Daily Walk today, may we be reminded that God is our ultimate judge, but that we also will be judged by the words of His book. May we always seek to be spiritual enough to be able to help others when they fall into temptation. And may we ourselves be open to correction when we are wrong.

Our thought for the day: “There is no fear of judgment for the man who judges himself according to the Word of God.” Howard G. Hendricks

May God bless you on your daily walk.

© Our Daily Walk, Mike Baker, 2007. Permission is granted to copy these articles provided they are not sold and the author's name and copyright are included.

Does Your Dog Bite?

Good morning and welcome to Our Daily Walk.

Audio version available at http://tinyurl.com/2ea3n4

Apathy can be described as a lack of feeling or interest. In many ways it is simply not caring. Indifference is another word that is very similar to apathy. To be indifferent is not caring one way or another; being neither right nor wrong.

Both can find their way into our lives if we are not careful. Here is an example of how indifference can be dangerous.

An old story is told of a man who approached the proprietor of a local store. Next to the owner was a large dog. “Does your dog bite?” asked the man. “Nope,” said the owner. The man then reached down to pet the dog and the dog promptly bit him.

“I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite?” asked the man. “I did. But that’s not my dog!” replied the owner.

The owner in this story is totally indifferent to the welfare of the man. He willingly allowed this man to put himself in harm’s way with the dog. He could have done something to spare this man being bitten, but he chose not to. He was indifferent.

William Howard Taft once said, “Too many people don’t care what happens so long as it doesn’t happen to them.” How true that is, and especially in our self-centered society.

Jesus illustrated indifference in the story of the Good Samaritan found in Luke 10:30-37.

“Then Jesus answered and said: ‘A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his clothing, wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a certain priest came down that road. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. Likewise a Levite, when he arrived at the place, came and looked, and passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion. So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. On the next day, when he departed, he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said to him, 'Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I come again, I will repay you.' So which of these three do you think was neighbor to him who fell among the thieves?’ And he said, ‘He who showed mercy on him.’ Then Jesus said to him, ‘Go and do likewise.’”

The priest and the Levite both could have done something to help this man. But they chose to go on the other side. They were indifferent toward his situation. Remember that part of the definition of indifferent said, “neither right nor wrong.” Most people would like for that to be the case. But, clearly some indifference is wrong, especially when good could have been done or evil avoided.

George Bernard Shaw said, “The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that’s the essence of inhumanity.” And James writes in James 4:17, “Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.”

Who knows what kind of opportunities for good you may face today? You might be in a position to help an elderly neighbor unload her groceries, or help talk a friend out of thoughts of suicide. Your opportunity today may be relatively insignificant, or it may be very, very important.

Paul said in Galatians 6:10, “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those of the household of faith.” Indifference has no place in the Christian character. God wants us to do good whenever we have the chance.

On Our Daily Walk today, may we take the time to show genuine care and concern for others. May we always be interested in the health, safety, welfare and spiritual condition of those around us.

Our thought for the day: “Love will find a way—indifference will find an excuse.”

May God bless you on your daily walk.

© Our Daily Walk, Mike Baker, 2007. Permission is granted to copy these articles provided they are not sold and the author's name and copyright are included.