Family Conference: Communication, Resolving Conflicts

Good morning and welcome to Our Daily Walk.

Audio version at http://tinyurl.com/2ayuyl

For most families, a family conference is not always a pleasant experience. Sometimes a problem needs to be addressed, or a new routine needs to be introduced. But hearing the words, “We need to talk” or “We need to have a family conference,” is not always comforting.

Communication is essential to humans and to our relationships. However there are many barriers to effective communication. A current television ad shows two people talking on cellular phones when one of them is disconnected. When communications are dropped or hindered frustrations and problems soon appear.

Did you know that only about 7% of communication is done with words? That’s right. Only less than on tenth of what we communicate is done with what we say. 55% is communicated when we alter how we use those words, with the vocal tone or pitch. 38% is communicated non-verbally. Communication isn’t just about what is said, but how it is said and what is or isn’t done along with it.

Naturally within a family structure there are bound to be times when communications break down and when a conflict needs to be resolved. Those who grew up in families of multiple children no doubt are well acquainted with sibling struggles and frequent conflicts. In most cases parents are quick to jump in and put an end to the struggle and help resolve the conflict. When they do, the siblings cool down and return to how they should act. But if the parents never step in to help resolve the conflict then that pattern of turmoil may continue and grow for years.

The church is seen in the Bible as a family. Locally, many of our congregations are close and certainly have that “family” atmosphere. Others may seem less like a family if people seem unfriendly or distant. But in either case, they are a family.

Sometimes you may hear a mother or a father correct a child and tell them, “Now remember who you are and act like you know how to act.” Paul has some wonderful words of instruction, correction and encouragement in Romans 12:9-21. In this passage he encourages us to behave like a Christian.

Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.

Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

If he is thirsty, give him a drink;

For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Friends, there will always be some level of conflict and miscommunication in any family environment and the church is no exception. Let’s look to God’s word for His wisdom and follow those instructions for a happy, healthy spiritual life.

On Our Daily Walk today, may we learn to recognize what needs to be communicated and may we do our best to communicate our messages to others. May we live at peace with others as long and so far as it is under our control to do so.

Our thought for the day: “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.” Mark Twain

May God bless you on your daily walk.

© Our Daily Walk, Mike Baker, 2007. Permission is granted to copy these articles provided they are not sold and the author's name and copyright are included.